No Tweeting in Meetings!

A friend of mine was watching Barack Obama's speech on Tuesday, and noticed that all of the legislators sitting in the audience had their Blackberries out, twittering away while the TV cameras rolled. She suggested that it was disrespectful (regardless of politics) to be sitting there listening to a speech while apparently preoccupied with other things.

Granted, they may have been twittering about the speech itself, but what could POSSIBLY be so important that they couldn't twitter about it an hour later when they're not sitting in front of the guy who's speaking? Multi-tasking is good, but whatever happened to polite, active listening? Whatever happened to etiquette?

She suggested I write about business etiquette and ethics topics that are new. She would like some information to hand out to new employees that covers things the Emily Post wouldn't have thought of.

Here are some of our initial ideas:

• Tweeting (texting, IMing, etc.) in meetings!
• Texting or cell phoning while driving!
  
• Things not to discuss in Facebook
• Getting people's permission before posting photos that could be embarrassing in Facebook or MySpace (or videos on YouTube!)
  
• Topics that should be discussed in person (you shouldn't break up with someone or fire them by text!)
• When you should send a handwritten note rather than a text or tweet.
  

What would you like to see discussed or written about? I get the feeling we're just scratching the surface of a whole new set of pet peeves.

-Paula

Etiquette Question - Escorting Guests to a Conference Room

Dear Paula,

I am the Executive Assistant to the President of a small manufacturing company and when the president has a meeting here at the facility, I usually go to the lobby and bring the attendees to the conference room.

When I am escorting outside visitors down the rather long hallway to the main conference room, should I be walking in front of them (leading the way) or beside them (guiding them along)?

Please advise as this situation comes up rather often.

Best regards,
Karen A. Becker
Executive Assistant to
Richard C. Spanier, President/CEO
Rudolph Research Analytical

Invitations to Company Party -Spouse included?

Paula,

I did gather some great information. I still have the question about the correct way to receive an invitation to a business party/company Anniversary party? Let me clarify.

When an invitation is sent out to an "addressed individual", not named in the invitation itself, and an RSVP is requested from this individual, but there is no mention of "spouse" should it understood that the spouse is not invited? What is the proper etiquette for business parties? Is it good business practice to allow select individual spouses?

David Dante

Ethics vs. Etiquette - What Would Al Capone Say?

I had a friend ask me the difference between ethics and etiquette. After all, she said, people who act on sound ethical principles are often the same people who care enough about others to have good manners. Is it possible to have good ethics and bad etiquette, or vice versa? She has an excellent point, but I have to disagree.

Ethics - Doing the right thing.
Etiquette - Doing things the right way.

It's entirely possible to be an sociopath without a conscience that has impeccable manners - the movies and literature are full of "gentleman criminals," like Ted Bundy or Al Capone. It often suits their purpose to be kind and charming. (In certain circumstances, of course!)

It is also entirely possible to be a clean-living, upstanding citizen with no social graces whatsoever. We all have at least one friend or acquaintance who may be a very ethical, good-hearted person who damages his career, reputation or relationships with poor etiquette - he is chronically late, inappropriately dressed, incessantly interrupts, speaks too loud or smells bad. Dr. Gregory House from the TV series "House" is a great example an talented doctor with a good heart but comes across as irascible and has terrible manners.

Right or wrong, we tend to judge the surface of a person's behavior to give us clues about a person's motives and standards. The judgments we make are usually right, but we're wrong often enough. The dissonance between motives and behavior creates these great complex characters for movies and literature.

What do you think? Do ethics and etiquette usually run together or not?

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